January 24th, 2012
If you’re ready to be successful in the real world – and not just your head – the absolute first step you can take is OWNING your definition of success. We all have a different one – and the sooner you own it, share it, and feel okay with other people knowing about it, the better.
Do the people around you know about your dreams, goals, and aspirations? Do your friends and family know what’s important to you? Or do you hide them or push them down inside so even you don’t have to look at them?
Well, if you’ve been hiding yourself even a tiny bit – and we all do it, today I want to encourage you to step out of your own shadow.
After all, if you want to share your revolution, you can't stay in the background.
Why We Hide
We all hide different parts of ourselves that we aren’t proud of or are embarrassed to admit because it doesn’t fit the YOU everyone expects to see.
I’ve been guilty of doing this on many occasion. In fact, I remember going for a series of job interviews, consciously being who they wanted me to be, getting each and every offer, and then realizing that none of the jobs would have ended up making me happy.
I turned 5 insanely good job offers down. I knew they weren't right for me…so I let them go.
I’ve seen businesses try to serve every single potential client that walked through the door, but never really making a clear declaration of the types of projects they did or the type of people they worked with…and well, those companies are no more now.
It’s all the same really — whether you do it in your personal or your work life.
You don’t talk about certain things with certain people because you are afraid of their reaction. And all the while, you get to be around people and take on projects that suck the life out of you.
Gratz. How is that working for you?
Not only is it total torture, but truth is that omission can also be a form of lying.
Do you want to be seen as distrustful or lacking integrity?
Awareness Is Key
Knowing why you hide what you do and then just letting go can help you see yourself and what you want a little more clearly.
You are not shadows. You are not fear of rejection and ridicule. You are not this person with no face or dreams. You do have children. You do love working at home. You don’t really want that job. You don’t really like going this person’s parties. You do want to start your own business. You are writing a book of poetry. You are starting your own business.
Don’t let this game of hiding define you anymore.
Be ok with your love of the Pussycat Dolls even though all your friends love Coldplay or “more serious, respectable music.”
Be okay that you want to write a book online though many of your published friends who scoff at the value you’re providing.
Be okay with the blog you’re writing and changing even if you’re not sure how people will take the new you.
Be okay working out in front of other people – who cares if you’re jiggly – that’s why you work out! Be okay that others don’t share your enthusiasm or hope.
Be proud of the pole dancing studio you want to start.
BE OKAY with yourself and your goals.
Getting To Know You: A Case Study
A few months ago I began sharing a bit more about who I am and what I do for work…
If you’re not on the mailing list, you may have missed one of my most revealing emails where I gave a true account of how I spend my days.
Email me and I’ll send it to you if you’d like the details too.
I started asking you who you were… what you do and what challenges you face. And I have to admit, I was kind of shocked.
See, in many ways, I’ve been holding back talking about starting a business, writing your book, creating your first product, creating systems to help you build your biz while your baby’s at your feet…because…well, I didn't think that's who you were or that you’d even care.
I was stopping myself from talking about something that I’m truly passionate about – self-expression, creativity, business, and the energy at the start of any new venture.
I made a judgement or assumption about someone or a group and allowed it to hold me back from being myself. Have you ever done that?
Take a moment to remember why you acted the way you did – and why you didn’t think it was okay to be you.
For me – I know exactly why I didn’t think it was okay:
I didn't think I could talk about those things with you.
I didn’t want to bother you with the topics that fill my head and keep my eyes a-blaze on the ceiling many nights during the week.
I didn't know you had dreams of owning your own business or being self-employed or working from home or that you wanted to find a job that would allow you to travel or live on your laptop or that you've always wanted to have a gallery opening and paint or knit a line of hats to sell at the local craft fair or that you wanted to build custom pilates reformers (oh wait, I DID know about that one.).
I didn’t know that you wanted to talk more about the exact things I WAS WISHING I could talk to you about.
What happens when you find out that the people around you are different than you thought they were?
And…oddly enough they are more kindred spirits than you EVER expected?
I'll tell you what happens – you do a little happy dance – show your moves like Jagger – and sigh with relief.
[Happy Dance with many Moves Like Jagger ensued…no joke!]
This is so me though…I've done this over and over again in my life. I walk around thinking I'm so dang different from everyone else and then find out that the people I surround myself with are EXACTLY like me.
Then, it hit me…just like I'm about to hit you with it:
You are special but you aren't different. We are all the same.
We all want the same freedom, the same peace, the same excitement, and no one really likes anyone “to be the boss of me.”
So…knowing what I know now…I’m not going to let you sit idle for more than a week.
I won’t pretend that all you want is generic motivation advice.
I won’t let you tell yourself any more stories about WHY you haven’t done what I KNOW you want to do.
Consider yourself no longer off the hook.
Go back to the question I asked earlier – have you ever altered or outright lied about who you were and then got smacked in the end because you weren’t being yourself? Or have you ever had a time when you kept being exactly who everyone else thought you should be?
Why did you do that?
What’s the worst thing that could happen if you decided to just drop the mask – be yourself, tell people your dreams, desires, and what you do?
Now what’s the best thing that could happen?
Now some harder questions…just between you and me:
Is there one or more things you want to accomplish but are either not sure how to get started or you’re not sure why you haven’t started?
Are you having a hard time because you haven’t “seen” anyone else do what you want to do? Or maybe too many people doing something a certain way and it doesn’t quite fit you?
Are you afraid that your friends and family will “find out”?
Or…are you just so in your head with all your goals that you’re on the brink of giving up simply because you need perspective?
If you’re nodding your head or answered yes to any of these, it’s time to step out now.
Email me and let me know what you’re struggling with and that my dear dear friend is your first step to changing your current path – and making room for your revolution.