Relationships are at the core of all of our lives. And even deeper than that — the relationship your own self is the most important relationship. Everything else we do feels that much better when our connections are in tune with and supportive of us.
We’re going to look at the way all of your relationships either lift you up or weight you down (and sometimes wayyyy down). The people we spend time with, our family, friends, coworker, the landlord, your children, yourself…all of these can carry some potentially weighty issues in your life.
If you carry any anxiety, stress, worry, fears of rejection/failure or that you just aren’t good enough, then you need to do the following exercise…and you need this week of white space.
This week – for me – it became so clear how important my relationship with Mila is. I know, no duh, Anne, right? Of course, I know that Mila is important, but literally the details of how we relate and my reaction to everything that happens to her have a ripple effect to other parts of my life. I couldn’t concentrate. I didn’t get as much done as I would have liked. My first white space week with you all – was actually pretty darned stressful. And…I felt on edge off and on all week.
What shifted all of that? I spent undivided attention and time with just her. Off the phone. Off the computer. She’s dealing with lots of emotional growth, kids at school fighting (because they’re dealing with their own growing pains), and to add to all that I’m flipping out about those things. As soon as I stopped trying to barrel ahead and do everything, I felt better, she felt better, and I now I feel a renewed bond with her.
Today’s exercise is going to help you get crystal clear on what roles you play in your life as well as what and who are your most important relationships. From there – we’ll do more work over the rest of the week to get your relationships in line with how you want to feel in your life — and the amount of breathing room you want and need.
Exercise: Write down every single role you have in your life. Do you have a job? What’s your title? Do you have a business? What about a business partner? Do you work with other people? Are you collaborating on a project? Do you own a home? Are you performing work on your house? Are you a teacher? Of what? Are you in school? Are you married? Do you have children? Do you have siblings? Do you have parents? Grandparents? What about a coach? Do you have a pet? For each of these types a question you play a role with someone else or yourself. Write them all out.
Now: Put a star next to your most important relationships. Important = gives you a foundation, a safe place where you can be yourself all the time, and a place that provides you support when you need it.
Finally: Tell your VIPs that they are on the top of the list. Tell them why. Be specific. If there’s one thing that helps build lasting connection, it’s being open, honest and fearless when expressing your love to people. Plus – it’s going to make you feel great to give them the love.
One Last Thing
Leave me a comment below to tell me your top 3 VIP relationships.
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Have a great day – and here’s to an open, spacious week!