March 31st, 2011
Welcome to Day 31 of the 31 Days to More White Space! Today we're wrapping it up with a 3 step method for handling failure.
I woke up early this today and I knew that I needed to totally rewrite this post. Instead of pushing the intuitive hit away, I embraced and decided to sit down and write.
Funny too…because today I want to share with you my personal manifesto and mantra:
“Failure is not failure unless you can’t reframe it.”
Failure is only a step toward ultimate success. It’s a lesson. A challenge to be better. It’s a chance to pick yourself up and move forward.
Failure is one of those funny words — it creates anxiety and fear inside most of us in a nanosecond. No one wants to fail, right?
And if the feeling and worry itself isn’t bad enough, guess what else? Fear is guilty of taking up all our beautiful white space.
So, why don’t we kick it to the curb today, turn it around, and look at it from a completely new angle?
Today, I'm going to show you how I deal with upsets and failure.
3 Steps to Dealing With Failure
(and it doesn't include a pint of icecream on your couch)
Look at the situation from different angles. I get perspective from friends who can be sounding board for me — and give me honest feedback. I remind myself not to get stuck in “it should have worked out this way” thoughts.
Be willing to take any new perspective or ideas and create a new plan of action. Revise is also a nice way to say drop what isn’t working. Your ability to revise comes in handy in all areas of your life — your health, fitness, how you deal with your family and children, how you search for a job. Be willing to step back from anything that isn’t working and revise it or completely let go of it.
Once you have a new plan or at least an idea of how you want to proceed, you need to embrace it and focus. You can’t second guess yourself or replay the pity party of why it didn’t work “the other way”. Second guessing yourself = another enemy of white space.
I’m not going to lie to you…all 3 steps take work…but are often uncomfortable.
Last year I made a huge shift in my business and life. I’d been struggling with the discomfort of buiding a pilates business and the fact that running a service based business was always a struggle. Time for money. People would reserve my time and then not show up or decide not to renew or not want to pay my full rate. I felt horrible.
Then, I stepped back and looked at what was creating the bulk of my income…and I realized…I have to do more of THAT.
So, I made a plan and I moved forward. I started doing more of what I loved and what was bringing in income and less of what wasn’t.
I had some moments of second guessing, but eventually I felt better knowing that I’d opted in for the activity that felt effortless. I’m not saying I won’t teach pilates again, but now, I know that I will need to completely revise how I do that in order to not “fail”.
I encourage you to take a look at the areas of your life that you feel like are failing. Put them through this 1, 2, 3 system and see what you can change today! I’m not saying I look forward to things not working out, but I do like the 3 step process (and am always looking to help someone else go through it too!).
We’re finished…31 Days to More White Space is ovah.
Before I close this series, I have one more exercise for you to do.
Email me your biggest a-ha over the past month.
When you do, I'll put you on the list to receive the complete White Space manifesto – pdf download, as soon as it’s fit to print! Plus, you’ll receive notification of upcoming white space news and events.
In the meantime, love yourself and be open to revision. That’s really the secret to living a life you love with space, clarity, focus, and joy.
To your peace,