September 19th, 2011
Make It Personal: Take Notice + Build Relationships
Are you ready to hear the most amazing & simple technique for building relationships and nurturing the ones you already have?
Relationships are at the center of everything we do in our life. Our relationships often affect how we feel about ourselves, how we gauge our success and failures, and how we find the strength to deal with change.
Relationships determine your business success, your ability to achieve life long dreams, and even define who you are to some extent. That’s why it’s so important to nurture and support these relationships. With yourself, yes, but with the world and the people critical to your survival.
Don’t you just love it when you get something unexpected but personal from someone dear to you?
Gifts that get sent to your home out of nowhere. Phone calls from people you haven’t spoken to in ages (for no particular reason). Letters and thank you notes just because. Your husband bringing you home the exact right dark chocolate because he knows you’re cutting out sugar.
It lifts you up. Puts the rest of your day on a new spin. You feel lighter. You feel loved.
Imagine getting to feel that way more than just once in awhile.
Well, it’s possible – and all it takes extra a little work and attention.
But you have to do it every day – even if it’s just once.
Here’s what you do:
Be more aware, notice and take a little extra care of the people around you.
- Notice when someone’s tone doesn’t sound as upbeat as it normally when you’re on the phone.
- Wonder why your mom hasn’t called at the time she usually does every single day.
- Consider buying a stressed-out friend or co-worker a coffee while you’re out at lunch.
- Thank someone you didn’t thank for something they did for you.
- Send a text to your sweetie.
Almost any gesture — big, small, physical or not will make a huge improvement in someone else’s day, in your relationship with them, in their mood, in yours. Sometimes even a smile can provide the necessary tweak to someone’s crappy day.
But here’s the challenge: you’ll need to get out of your own head, consider what others are going through and dealing within their daily life and actually offer the gift.
The reward for you will be more than you can imagine. The feeling that you’ve outstretched your hand to someone — without motive will give you an amazing sense of peace and calm and will even fill others around you with the same feeling.
Very beautiful, sound advice, Anne.
Where you state…
But here’s the challenge: you’ll need to “get out of your own head,” consider what others are going through and dealing with in their daily life and actually offer the gift…
…you are touching upon one of the keys to happiness in life.
When one is focused on self–it becomes harder to build relationships.
On the other hand, one who demonstrates genuine caring for others and brings kindness to the table, is released from the pain of tone’s own circumstances and is rewarded with a sense of peace.
Doing unto others as you would hope someone might do for you when YOU are weary, downcast, afraid or in some way under-the-weather, has a positive, reciprocal impact.
Encouraging someone when they are down is a gift to the giver as well as the recipient.
See: http://bit.ly/7inQKe
Peace,
John
I am TERRIBLE at this stuff! It doesn’t come naturally to me. Sometimes I am afraid of stirring up drama/unnecessary discussion, you know what I mean? Any advice for that?
Laura,
First of all, I know personally that you aren’t terrible at it.
I know about the whole stirring up drama thing. Like – you know someone could use a little attention, but you’re not sure you want to get involved…and what kind of energy output it might require. I say if you sense there’s a potential for extra drama, be cautious unless it’s someone close to you. You can’t keep the blinders on if it’s someone you really care about.
Be willing to listen – not add to the drama (if there is any) and that’s usually what most people are looking for.
I’ve always been the one people come to for advice on this or that when I was working in an office…and every single time it was me pretty much just listening and allowing them to speak. Magic happens when people feel heard and listened to. They feel better. You feel better. Everything feels better.
I know it’s super basic, Laura, but it works. Ask what’s going on…and then just listen.
Thanks for your comment lady!