May 25th, 2011
Life Got You Spiraling Out Of Control?
Have you ever had a ton going on at work, at home, and every where in between…so much so that you thought you were really going to go insane if something didn’t give? What about a time when there were a several potential life changes circling in a holding pattern — and everything felt out of control? If you’ve ever experienced the heavy knowing decisions needed to be made and changes were going to happen whether you liked them or not, you gotta read this. The train may have left the station, but you can still slow that machine down and also gain clarity & calm on the journey.
So, this past month my life has been full of lots of changes, big projects at work, upheavals, and some uncertainty thrown in for good for measure! Now, that I’m through nearly all of it, I realize that there were a few really important things that got me through the month unscathed and not completely insane.
Here’s a peek at just a few things that happened this month:
- Found out that I’m moving to a out of state sometime soon-ish
- Managed a crazy successful online product launch
- Mila started sleeping at school (big deal for all of us — esp. Mommy!)
Since it’s all fresh in my mind…and I’m quite truthfully still recovering…I wanted to share the 3 ingredients that can get you through any tumultuous time so you don’t spiral out of control…and end up behaving and feeling like a complete maniac.
Support
I never take my support system for granted. I have people in all areas of my life that generally require support and we call upon each other whenever we need it…Sometimes it’s me, sometimes it’s them…we share and support and provide perspective whenever it’s clear someone needs it.
Finding support is easier than you might think and you can find it some unlikely places too.
You can look in the obvious places like friends or your spouse or other family members…because much of what’s been going is family related, I feel fortunate that I’ve had the support right where I need it.
But what if you don’t have the builty in support system? Go online!
Do you like a blog and comment on the posts often? Try to be more interactive and start dialogues with the other regular visitors. You might not have an instant love connection, but you could end up with a crew of people who know what you’re going through and can provide suggestions when you need it.
It’s also worth mentioning that online forums and groups are a great way to find specific targeted help for different areas and interests of your life. Healthy Eating, Fitness, Health & Fitness, Money, Business, Business Startups, Career, Relationships.
Pick a topic and do this:
Regardless of where you find your own support, you must get it. Seek it out if it’s not already there for you.
Systems
Don’t kid yourself, every single aspect of your life is a system — even if you aren’t carrying around a clipboard to monitor it.
The sooner you realize what systems are working and by the same token which ones aren’t working in your life, the sooner you’ll cut down on the time you spend tortured by the “crazy weeks” that happen to EVERYONE.
Paying your bills, working out, planning meals, getting regular physical check-ups, the time you spend with your kids, the way you clean your house….there are natural systems and patterns to everything you do.
When systems breakdown, it’s easy to get overwhelmed, feel scattered and unable to deal with any amount of stress.
If you are feeling behind in your bills…look at the system or lack of you use to pay them on time. What 1 thing can you do to create a simple method for making sure they are handled before they become delinquent?
If you are feeling bloated, puffy, and tired all the time…something may have broken down in your house of health. Again, think of just 1 thing that could start you moving in the other direction. Maybe you need to commit to drinking more water every day – set an amount and get to it.
And one more…if you are not seeing success in your business or perhaps a job search, look the problem in the face and ask, do I need a new system to start seeing results I need? The answer to this is an easy yes on this one. If you don’t think you need a plan or a system to build your business or your career, then think again!
Sometimes even just a list gives you a basic system, outline or framework to follow.
A little caveat here – you don’t have to be insane and record everything on paper – paper and lists do not make a system. A system that works is one where you are aware of everything you need to do and what is most important to getting those things accomplished. If you’ve got no roadmap – mental or otherwise – you are running to put out fires as opposed to make any progress in your life.
A past colleague of mine told me something about that rushing around in survival mode that we all get into when need to finish something or are overly stressed. If people see you running around, huffing and puffing, looking scattered, they think something’s wrong. Stop running. Calmly walk from place to place. I never forgot this little tidbit…and it’s definitely slowed me down when I was feeling overwhelmed. I take it now on a personal level – if I feel myself running around like a loon, I say to myself, “Anne, is there something wrong? If not, slow the funk down.”
Ship Date
Want to know potentially the most important ingredient to staying chilled out during crazypants times? This is also the most simple way to alleviate A TON of stress that comes with busy-ness. Set an end date or goal date…or a Ship Date to whatever is getting your panties in a pinch. Not only does it give you a light at the end of your tunnel, but it gives you some sort of measurable end to the madness.
It’s amazing what setting a ship date does for your stress level.
For me, I was managing a very big online product launch. There were (and still are) a lot of pieces to put together and people to pull together so that the project finishes without killing everyone. The one thing that kept me somewhat sane is setting BIG milestones along the way — program enrollment ends on a specific date, program ENDS on a specific date…Having a clear this-will-end-on-X-date helps me deal with all of the normal daily stresses of the project.
Have you ever had a project or pending big life change and you didn’t know WHEN it was going to happen? Are you there now? Set a date to finish or complete or resolve whatever it is…
I’ll admit that it’s sometimes hard to set the ship date–especially in the more personal areas of my life. I have one currently pending event that DESPERATELY needs a ship date– our impending move out of Los Angeles! Every day I whittle that time frame down – and now I have a range of dates when it will likely happen. By the end of this week, I’ll have an actual date. I need it. My husband must be hearing a broken record, but until I have my ship date, I won’t be able to chill out and get to work on the prep to make it happen.
So there you have it…3 ingredients that will get you through a big life change and stressful time at work.
You can’t avoid stress, so take some time to learn how you can react and respond differently to what’s causing it.
In the comments below, let me know me know the single biggest insight you gained from today’s post. Also, please share any resources and tips you’ve used for relieving stress and dealing with change!